Therapy for Women: A Comprehensive Guide to Empowerment
Getting support as a woman can be challenging. In order to understand who you are and how you show up in the world, we have to understand the various aspects you may struggle with. In order to begin stepping into your power, first, you must understand what you are up against. If you’re unsure whether you’re ready for individual therapy for women in New York, NY, take moment to consider how some of these issues are playing into your everyday life.
What is Intersectional Feminism?
Essentially there are many waves of feminism. However, in 1989, Kimberley Krenshaw identified a gap in the unification of identifying women's rights and needs. Intersectional feminism is the idea that a "gender" or "woman" isn't a single identification. We are more than just women. We are much more. This idea identifies and includes black, Asian, Latina, Indigenous, AND white women. Additionally, it addresses class, ethnicity, religion. It is more than just gender, we are weaving many identities and stories together. Therefore, we need to have space for the justice and rights of everyone, not just the perceived majority.
Gender and Stereotypical Roles
As women, we may not realize how internalized our gender roles are. When you think about women or your identity as a woman how do you define it? Often we may think of women as mothers, nurses, caregivers, gentle. Where did these guidelines come from? Do you even fit into them? Personality-wise, you may think of women as gentle, caring, and submissive, whereas men are more self-confident or fall into leadership roles. Consider the domestic behaviors. Men work, while women cook, clean, and take care of the children. Think about careers, women are teachers and nurses, whereas men are doctors and businessmen. We can even break it down into personal appearances. Women must wear dresses and makeup, whereas men wear pants and shorter haircuts. This list can go on, but why do we as a society hold onto these expectations of ourselves and others.
Truly, we first have to develop an awareness and realize that much of it is learned from a young age and internalized. Much of our later life is spent figuring out whether we will accept these roles or deviate from them. As we consider this from a developmental lens, for example, Erikson mentions that much of young adulthood is breaking free from these internalized beliefs and finding our space amongst our peers and relationships. However, if we chose to remain in close contact with the identities we were shaped into, we may never see how we can become our own person within the identity of being a woman. We are much more than the standards society holds us to.
Identity
I am sure you are an individual who has considered " Who Am I". Wondering who you are is an essential part of being. However, as one might imagine you may have your identity developed more or less in various areas. So this is much more complex than one may think.
Consider this, identity includes your race, physical attributes, class, morals, opinions, politics, religion/spirituality, and more. This identity influences every aspect of our life and the choices we make day-to-day.
Those who are uncertain by who they are or are overly concerned with what others think may end up with a less developed identity and find that they struggle to find themselves more as they move forward in life. A tool that can be helpful is intentional journaling and reflection. You're capable of controlling your narrative at any point in time.
Identity is Fluid and Evolving
Just as many concepts in this ever-changing world identity is fluid and evolving. This is because when were are around various groups and environments we adapt and change to fit the environment. This may be due to insecurity in our identity or based on a defense mechanism such as code-switching. However, what is important to know is that there is a most notable difference during times when we are trying to adjust to various roles and transitions.
We Fit into Many Roles, In Many Stages of Life
Let's be honest your main role in life is not a woman. No, you're a daughter, a student, a partner, a friend, a leader, a creative, and so much more.
When you're in college, you're figuring out who you are and your interests. When you're done with college, you move into "the real world". This means finding your financial footing. Finding out where to live, who to live with, getting married, or dating. Some people move back home or others continue their education.
Others may transition in many stages of life from being a solo individual to being in a partnership. This means figuring out who you are and who you are within the relationship. This also means integrating into the lives of their friends and family. Additionally, during various stages you may find yourself married, then separated, or divorced. This may mean that you're looking back in time to when you had to date. Some may remain single. Others may try to dip their toes into the dating pool. This can be challenging when there are fewer options available and you may have no clue what you're doing.
Seasoned Mothers and New Mothers Are Learning About This Transition
Additionally, motherhood is a huge transition in identity to others. Many moms are excited to welcome a child into the world, but once they go through the pregnancy period, they may find stress in their life from having to put someone else's needs above their own all the time. They are physically recovering from the process of birth and now they enter healing and the postpartum period. On top of being a mom, they still need to care for themselves and others. Once you're a mom, everything becomes about the child. Many women struggle to put themselves first and often feel guilt and shame from needing a break or space. As moms, we are asked to be overly giving of ourselves to the point it can be unreasonable.
Maybe You Have Experienced Your Role As A Professional
Lastly, as a professional woman, you may find the pressure to stick out in a room full of men. You may find you're not a part of the "boys club" and you have to fight for your voice, promotions, and space in a male-dominated world. Often when we consider roles and gender we forget that you're often identified as you're seen.
You're a professional, a mom, a daughter so on and so forth. However, to acknowledge being intersectional we can be all these things at once and note that we can define ourselves even when the world tried to define us first.
How Do We Begin Breaking out of those roles?
A few ideas include:
Recognize and empower your achievements not your appearance
Learn Skills Based on What Interests You.
Dive into fields of work where women are not common
Don't feel guilty if you choose a not traditional lifestyle ( I.E. child-free living)
Expect equal contributions in households
Be a part of the change to acknowledge all people's contributions, not just cisgender white males and females.
Understand the uniqueness and value of all genders
Stand up against violence and injustice ( this includes acknowledging men and women experience this)
Value Men As Caregivers just as much as women
Validate the feelings of everyone, and recognize them as a strengths
Value and Empowerment Are Key to Thriving
Our values are a part of who we are how we may choices on a day-to-day basis. If you're unsure what your values are, a good exercise is to do some deep reflection on these principles and tenets to see what matters most to you. An important part of this intrinsic value is where you decide based on your ethics what is of value for you. It is self-motivated and decided for you.
Finding Our Voice
Once we know our intrinsic values, this empowers us in return to use our voice. It is unique to you and no one can quiet it unless we let them. This is the first step to embodying empowerment. When we speak out against injustice and unfair treatment we can begin to step into the world in a way that aligns with our beliefs. However, even though we may say find your voice, I also recognize that sometimes we need to develop that over time. If we are from oppressed groups, we may have to go through a long journey to get to the place where we feel empowered. That may mean processing trauma, talking with an online therapist in New York, or finding meaningful relationships and allies who will stand with you. Stepping into your power takes time and it is a lifelong process. You may find yourself needing to empower yourself differently and intentionally in various areas of your life, so be compassionate to yourself and know that you're on your way to success.
Tips To Capturing Your Power
One Moment In Life Does Not Define You!
Remember this, you are more than just what you do or a particular moment in your life. One accomplishment or failure does not mean that is your identity. We can all rise above and keep achieving. Know that you are influenced by what's going on around you. This is because that shifts how you feel, see yourself, and interact. You may act or be different in different situations. That's ok, it is normal, and does not mean that in any one instance or situation your identity is being molded. Know you're capable of change and rebranding. Working with a therapist in therapy for women in New York, NY may help!
Identities Shift Based on the Season, Go With It!
Next, know that transitioning identity is healthy and normal. We are flexible individuals and if we struggle to be, we can learn. Individuals can help you adapt as needed, even discover and connect with parts of yourself. Don't be afraid to let those around you support you and help you understand you are better in collaboration with your self-discovery.
Don't Put Yourself Into A Box!
As an icebreaker, you may have played a game where you describe yourself with a few words. Consider instead of trying to describe yourself in "3 words", to identify 20 aspects of yourself. Don't be afraid to allow them to contradict each other. Perhaps, you are happy and sad, nice and angry, outspoken and shy, can all coexist. Emotions can coexist at the same time and so can the way you express yourself. Let it all collide.
Final Thoughts?
Lastly, as we consider finding support for women and identity, know that the way we speak to ourselves has so much power. You may feel a clear internal struggle between "should", "want", and "Am". Know that should are those internalized expectations. Perhaps society or family has placed this pressure on you. Want is where you want to end up. You have desires and goals, lean into what YOU want, not what people expect. Lastly, Am is the present and often somewhere between should and want. Be willing to do something courageous and allow yourself to be in the "AM". Be present and hold space for the now. If after going through this blog, therapy for women in New York, NY or a women’s empowerment workshop may be for you!
Talk with A Therapist and Start Therapy for Women in New York, NY with Individual Therapy or Workshops Today
And do so in ways that feel comfortable for you. RPS in Manhattan offers both in-person and online therapy in New York City, NY so you can receive support from the comfort of your home.
We'll reach out within 48 hours to answer your questions and match you with the perfect in-person or online therapist!
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In a culture where women's issues are pushed under the rug, talking with a therapist in Manhattan who gets it can help. See how therapy for women in New York City, NY is great support for women in need. Call now and begin therapy.
Other Services at Rapoport Psychological Services
We are held to such high standards in life. That can lead to anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, burnout, and more. It’s time to rewrite your narrative and become your authentic self. If you need support, we offer therapy for women, but we can help you with specific mental health issues. Additional services we provide include depression treatment, anxiety treatment, PTSD treatment, and trauma therapy, Coaching with Dr. Zoe, testing services for ADHD, professional development, therapy for new moms, life transitions, and group therapy. Lastly, we offer workshops on women’s empowerment, grief, mindfulness, and stress management. We really look forward to walking alongside you and hope you will take the next step and begin in-person or online therapy in New York!